Same-Sex Marriage

There is both satisfaction and disappointment surrounding the California Supreme Court's recent decision upholding the state's ban on gay marriage, as well as New Hampshire's passage of a bill allowing it. And New Yorkers will soon be swept up in the drama as it considers Governor Paterson's legislation to legalize same-sex marriage in that state.

People opposed to same-sex marriage cite Biblical text, refer to historical legislation, and point to perceived flaws in the legislative processes that have legalized same-sex marriages in other states. Humans possess this remarkable capacity to spin intricate webs of "reasoning" as a way of articulating their most primal fears and prejudices, from the man on the street to the Supreme Court bench (where Majority opinions kept segregation in place for almost 100 years following passage of the 14th Amendment granting full citizenship to African-Americans). On the surface, the mental gymnastics is impressive. One can get lost in the labyrinth of words. But truth be told, the intellect simply provides a voice for what resides, first and foremost, in the heart.

I have heard the opinions supporting gay marriage, and the reasoning runs deep, and convincing... to those who come from a similar place in the heart. No amount of "reasoning," though, will change the "reasoning" of people who, at their core, lack compassion in this regard. This has been historically true, from segregation and women's rights, to interracial marriage. It is difficult changing a person's mind until he first experiences a change of heart. Who better exemplifies this than Dick Cheney, the unflinching watchdog of Conservative values? Uncharacteristically, though, he defends same-sex marriage. In this regard, he generously offers "Freedom means freedom for everyone." Why does he make this exception and veer so sharply from Conservative dogma? Quite simply, his daughter is gay, and she is raising a son with her partner. "Freedom" would not have meant "freedom for everyone" had his daughter not been gay. It all came down to matters of the heart. It always should.

Opponents of same-sex marriage will respond to these remarks with indignation. So be it. As they do, look behind the words, which act as a thin veneer, beneath which lies intolerance and fear.

A gay soldier will take a bullet for us in time of war to protect our lives and our liberties, including the right to marry. They deserve nothing less than the same basic rights and privileges.